


Loss

by Iamprongsie



Series: Tumblr Prompt Fills [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Angst, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, mild description of injuries and death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 18:29:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17872529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamprongsie/pseuds/Iamprongsie
Summary: 'He knows what happened. He saw the tank hit Ahsoka, saw Steela fall, saw the look of complete and utter defeat on his Padawan’s face as she watched her friend fall into the abyss.'





	Loss

**Author's Note:**

> another prompt fill, this time #8: things you said when you were crying  
> It doesn't really fit but I like this work a lot so here we goooo

He knows what happened. He saw the tank hit Ahsoka, saw Steela fall, saw the look of complete and utter defeat on his Padawan’s face as she watched her friend fall into the abyss. 

He knows what it’s like to lose someone close, so he bundles her off to medical once the LAAT/i’s landed (screw protocol, some things are more important) to treat her for shock himself. It’s scary, seeing the girl that’s essentially become his little sister like this. The vacant look in her eyes reminds him of that awful awful time on Mortis when she had died, and the slight tremor in her hands reminds him of the time they were stuck planetside while a battle raged around them, and they had run out of rations. 

He lets her go back to her room after Kix has checked her over, and patched up her shoulder. He hates doing it, wants her with him, but he knows she wants some time alone to process. He knows she’ll come and talk when she’s ready, so Anakin goes to the debrief and talks to Rex and Obi-Wan and Cody and Yularen and plans the next attack, gives his Padawan her space.

When, almost a week later, she’s only been seen outside her room a couple of times, Anakin takes matters into his own hands. There’s only so much moping someone can do, even if said someone is an often-grumpy teenager with an attitude problem to rival his. She’s not in her room, she’s not in the refectory, and she’s not in the hangar bay, fixing all her problems with wiring and solder. None of the men have seen her either, although Jesse said something about the training Salle. 

He checks there next, and notices her leaning over the control balcony, lifting a supply crate with the force. Every time she raises her arms above her head, she winces and drops the crate. It thunders down and lands at Anakin’s feet, and Ahsoka leans out even further, cursing her broken shoulder. As he watches in the doorway, she leans out over the railings again and tries to lift the crate. She gets a bit further this time, but she still ends up dropping it. 

Another round of cursing follows, while Anakin’s heading up the steps that lead to the control balcony. Ahsoka suddenly jumps down, lightsabers lit, and slashes the crate to pieces as she lands. 

He catches the tail end of a particularly nasty phrase in Huttese as he jumps down the stairs and approaches, something like _fucking worthless you can’t save your friends you couldn’t save her you didn’t try hard enough you don’t deserve to be here she should be here_. A sob sounds, and he hesitantly reaches into the Force, notices that her signature’s like an electrical storm. Ah, kriff.

Another round of cursing hits him, and the crate gets even more chopped up. More sobs follow, and he puts a hesitant arm around his Padawan. Her lightsabers are still lit, so he gently pries them out of her hands and turns them off, discarding them. Ahsoka throws her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder. 

“Hey there Snips, it’s gonna be alright.” He runs a soothing hand up her shoulders, and her tears seem to come faster. 

“It’s _not_!” She wails, like she did when she was a crecheling and tripped over in the middle of something. “Steela’s gone, and it’s all my fault!”

Ahhhh, good old survivors guilt. He’s plenty friendly with that, knows exactly how it feels to walk away from somewhere and wish the other person made it out. 

“Snips, you did your best. You saved Lux-” He hears a contemptuous sniff and quickly diverts the conversation, “Steela was a hero. You did your best, no one knew the tank was going to turn.”

“Dead heroes don’t have any use,” Ahsoka insists, “And I should have been better, I should have seen it coming! I mean, I’m a _Jedi_ , for kriff’s sake! I fucked up and now she’s _gone_! She’s dead!”

Anakin remembers a body in his arms, the flash of his saber as he decimated a village, the rage and anger and _helplessness_ he felt, the fact that someone so important to him could be taken away, making him feel like he was an ant, like the universe had just decided to step on him. 

He can’t let that happen to Ahsoka, no matter what. 

“She lives on in your memory, Snips. She’s with you, she’s with Saw, she’s with everyone that fought with her.” Ahsoka’s still shaking with tears and what he suspects is exhaustion, but her sobs have lessened in intensity. “And you didn’t fail.”

“It’s still my fault. I dropped her!”

“Snips, sometimes the universe or the force or whatever’s out there screws us over, really badly. Sometimes it sits up and takes notice and says ‘you know what? Fuck you three people in particular.’ And we’re powerless to stop it. And it’s ok. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I still feel like it was, though. And I know that it wasn’t, it just feels like it.”

“It’s ok to feel like that, Snips. It’s human-” Ahsoka snorts softly into his shoulder, and he quickly backtracks, “Well, it’s sentient. Guilt’s a hard thing to shake, especially survivors guilt. You’ll be right, I promise.”

“I’ll get there.“ Ahsoka wipes her eyes and feels around for her ‘sabers, snapping them onto her belt when she finds them. 

“That’s all I need you to do, Ahsoka. I’m proud of you.”

“Awwww, I knew you- owwwwww.” She winces in pain, and Anakin’s immediately checking her for any hidden injuries. 

“Is it your shoulder?” Ahsoka nods quickly, face drawn tight in pain. “Alright, we’re gonna go to Kix and get that sorted.”

She pulls a quick face at him, she doesn’t particularly enjoy visiting the medbay. 

“And then I’ll make you hot chocolate in the mess, how’s that?”

“Alright!”

She’ll be alright, she’s strong. And things like this are going to keep happening, especially if the war keeps on. They just all have to get through, any way they can.


End file.
